I See You

“Then she called the name of the Lord who spoke to her, ”You are God Who Sees”; for she said, ”Have I not even here [in the wilderness] remained alive after seeing Him [who sees me with understanding and compassion]?””

Gen 16:13

To the parent of a child with additional needs, I see you. 

I see you as you grieve the diagnosis. The second diagnosis. The third. I see you grieve for the life your child will not have. The life your family will not have. The parenting experience which will not be yours. 

I see you as you research on behalf of your child. As you petition educators and doctors to find a way ahead. As you try things to make your child’s life better. 

I see you taking your child to another appointment. Another therapy. Another operation. Persuading them to have another blood test. Another injection. Another procedure that scares them. 

I see you try to work out what to say as a well-meaning parent tells you they couldn’t do what you do. 

I see you as you wrestle with the love you hold for your child and the hatred of what their circumstances mean for them. How you would take on their pain and difficulties as your own in a heartbeat for them to have a less restricted life. 

I see you plan and prepare and troubleshoot ahead of the things most people wouldn’t even think about. I see you forego days out, holidays, trips to the playground because they’re too hard to comprehend. 

I see you turn down a night out with friends that you would love to go on because the thought of the challenge to find childcare that can meet the needs of your child is one thing too many right now. 

I see you watch your child’s peers meeting milestones and achieving things you know your child isn’t and may never. 

I see you receiving judgement and criticism for your parenting from people who don’t understand. 

I see you as you comfort your child when they receive another rejection. Another play date they’re not invited to. Another party without an invite. They see and they notice and so do you. I see your heart break for them again and again that others don’t see the amazing and wonderful person and the beautiful heart underneath the additional needs. 

I see you loving your child through every new hard. Every ongoing challenge. 

I see you constantly put yourself last, however close to breaking point you might be. 

I see you celebrate who your child is. I see you encouraging them. I see you being their biggest cheerleader. 

I see you. You are precious. You are loved. You are valued. You are important. You are appreciated. My door is always open and my kettle is on. I’m here for you, with or without your child. I’m listening. And I would be honoured to journey with you. Please don’t hesitate to reach out to me. 

I’m a day late for #worldmentalhealthday but it’s important every day so my offer stands every day. 

There are so many times I’ve been carried by others through my journey as a parent of a child with additional needs. But on the days when others have been absent, it’s been the presence of my Father that has sustained me. He grieves with me. He knows. He is the God who sees. He sees me exactly as I am and loves me completely. He chooses me and strengthens me and never lets me go. He sees me in the darkest times and is with me in them. I am thankful that I never face anything alone.