Peace

“Peace I leave with you; My [perfect] peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be afraid. [Let My perfect peace calm you in every circumstance and give you courage and strength for every challenge.]”‭‭

John 14:27 AMP

Four days ago, my daughter and I were involved in a car crash on a narrow country lane. We drive this road often and so we know it well and take the blind corners extra slowly. That’s what caused my 9 year old to shout, “Mommy, she’s coming round too fast,” right before impact. I had braked and pulled as far left as I could go to minimise the impact but it was still a shock. We were both shaken but physically ok.

God was so clearly with us! The first person on the scene, when we still couldn’t get out of the car, was someone we have known for 7 years and shared school runs with. She talked to us through the window, she gave Miri chocolate, took photos of the accident for me, called my husband. It felt so much like God’s provision that it would be someone that we know. Even though the other driver never checked to see whether we were ok, God made sure we felt seen and checked because He sent someone who knew us. Once the fire crew got us out, Miri went and sat in her car to keep warm and we were able to empty the contents of my car into hers.

More wonderful provision was another friend who not only agreed to look after Zach and Echo but also went and picked Danny and them up from where they had been dog walking to shorten the time until Danny could get to Miri and I. It’s no small thing under restrictions of not being allowed to have someone in your home or your car because of Covid law.

We were bruised and shaken but we were ok. The car had crumpled exactly where is should and it had protected us. The seatbelts had done their job and whilst they left bruises, bruises heal.

As we got home and Danny went to collect Zach and Echo, I felt a sense of peace. I had no anxiety about the accident. I felt completely at peace that I had in no way caused the accident and had done everything to minimise it. Whilst I felt a little sick at the financial implications of the car being written off, I had no sense of guilt at all – which is a new thing for me. And whatever logistical challenges were to come, I felt held and at peace. I had this sense that the God who could protect us like that and provide someone we knew and give such peace in very difficult and unpeaceful circumstances could and would handle whatever else was thrown up as a result.

A couple of hours after we got home, I had a phone call from one of the Pastors at our church asking if I could stand in leading the prayer meeting the following evening. This is not me! This is way out of my comfort zone. But as much as I squirmed at the thought, it felt like God was handing me an invitation and saying that His plans were not derailed by a car crash. The car crash was not going to set my course for the year, He was. And so, against my human nature, I said yes. And I wasn’t kept awake worrying about it. My peace continued. I’d received another call of a ministry nature that same evening and again I felt God reassuring me that He was in control.

The following day, I received back-to-back phone calls from insurance, legal, liabilities, hire car company, etc. But I didn’t feel overwhelmed. I felt held and at peace.

Right before I was due to start the prayer meeting on Zoom, the government announced national lockdown (again) and the immediate closure of schools. Given how horrendous my 17 weeks of homeschool was last year, I should have felt panic, but I still felt peace. 

I know this is God’s provision because it makes no human sense! I know that a God who can organise for the right people to be in the right places when I happen to be involved in a car crash will also organise for me to handle whatever this next chapter looks like. Since September, I’ve now realised, God has had me on a journey of waiting on Him, learning to wait well, trusting Him for the next step, only being shown the next step, despite me being a planner and a bigger-picture person. That journey, combined with the peace He’s given me that He’s in control, means that I can look at the unknowns of homeschooling with two children (one of whom has additional needs and disabilities), a house that is sold with no house to move to, not knowing when we might have a car, if ours is going to be written off and how we’ll afford to replace it, how Danny’s jury service next week is going to work, how long it’s going to take for my injuries to heal – I am looking at all of those things and not feeling any anxiety. That’s not human! I know that my course can only be set by God. His plans are bigger than anything that might seek to overcome them. His provision is better than I could ever plan.

And His peace surpasses understanding. I’ll take it!